Fun list of headline bloopers
July 20th 2009 02:26
The bright lights, red carpets and star status of the movie world mask the sweat, tedium and long hours which are the day-to-day reality of film-making. In the same way, the notion of the investigative journalist as an indefatigable and incorruptible defender of truth and social justice is replaced by a less glamorous, more humdrum reality for anyone who spends some time in the newsroom of a major newspaper.
The star quality is there of course, waiting to erupt in the form of a stellar acting performance, the uncovering of a major news story, or the writing of a particularly brilliant and worthy headline. You just don't see it every day.
Something else you don't see every day is the opposite — memorable moments of madness. In film they call them bloopers, and it is with delight that they are collected and packaged as 45-minute-plus advertising farces for those of us who enjoy other people's mistakes.
Moments of madness happen in newspapers too, and particularly in the busy engine room at the centre of it all, referred to within the industry as the subs desk. If you're a young reporter, you refer to it in hushed tones, and you hope, indeed pray, that you don't get summoned to visit it. That can never be good news.
The aura of knowledge and invincibility in all matters relating to the written language is a fallacy, however. Sub-editors too are influenced by the mundane — by head ache, heart ache, hangover or the pressure of home life. And under the influence of these distractions, mistakes can happen.
Those mistakes, over many years and in many places, include the following list of newspaper headlines:
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is there a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, it May Last a While
Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Thanks, Chris.
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Thanks, Norm.
Comment by Morgan Bell
Deep Pencil
Business News
Movie Train
haha cute
you gotta love engineering humour
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes
Many of these are classic! Just goes to show how many statements can be taken more than one way -- particularly when ideas must be condensed into as few words as possible. Great reminder to think twice about everything we write to make sure we aren't misunderstood -- and just as importantly, to prevent our becoming someone else's laugh for the day.
Somehow, though, I can't help but believe that "British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply" was an intentional attempt to be clever.
Thanks for giving us all a chuckle today by sharing these gems!
Jeanne
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
I think you're right about the short dwarfs. Those Brits know a thing or two about playing with their language
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
I'm so glad I was lying down so I couldn't fall out of my chair laughing when I read this.
'Miners Refuse To Work After Death'
and
'British Find Dwarfs in Short Supply'
Are my favourite.
~Dianna
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
Heh. Oh, I'd hurt it all right...
~Dianna
Comment by Jeanne Dininni
Writer's Notes