Healing things to do when newly single
February 4th 2009 09:24
People who have recently been through a relationship break-up fall generally into two categories: those who did the breaking and those who got dumped. Horrible word, dumped, but it describes the kicked-in-the-guts feeling perfectly.
It can be a painful time, and energy levels may not immediately be high, but no amount of gloom can hide the fact that a land of new opportunities awaits.
It is the land of the single and - go on, admit it - everyone in a relationship gives the occasional whimsical sigh and remembers the things you can do when you are single. When you are newly single, some of these things have special significance.
1.
When love dies, life can start
Start by making this your mantra. Life can be smothered by an unhappy relationship. Happiness doesn't end with a broken relationship. Think sparkle, not survival. Here you are, newly single. It's time to put some sparkle back into life.
2.
What can you do differently?
You're the sole boss now. Soul boss too. You can do whatever you please, any way you please, any time you please. No checks, no discussion, no possibility of demurral, dissent or argument. There, I bet you feel better already.
3.
Stay single, for a while at least
4.
Learn to take care of yourself
To put it another way, take time to look after your best friend - you. It's amazing how quickly this can reinflate self-esteem and drive away the blues. It doesn't mean pilates three times a day or marathon training. It means, guys, perhaps learning how to sew on a button and thoroughly clean a bathroom. It means, girls, learning how to adjust your monitor's screen resolution and put air in your car tyres. Or vice-versa. Become self-reliant and see how proud you make yourself.
5.
Do some real travelling, and do it alone
Do not go to Bali or Hawaii and sit on a beach, or to Kakadu or Yosemite and sit on a rock. You'll just feel sorry for yourself. Real travel is eye-opening, foot-blistering, scary, sweaty, hard work. And it can change your life.
6.
Do a course or take up a hobby
Chances are, if the relationship didn't work out, that somewhere along the line you wanted to do something but felt constricted. Maybe you didn't want to waste time together; maybe you met opposition to doing something for yourself and by yourself. Do it now - the time will never be better.
7.
Volunteer
What, give time and energy to help others with nothing in return? There is a return, and it's something which needs to be experienced to be understood. Just try it. This one can change your life too.
8.
Make some time for family
Parents, grandparents, siblings. You know all those fond family memories built up over the years. Here's a good opportunity to make some more.
9.
Meanwhile ...
It's still hurting and the good times are all in the future. So consider this: everyone goes through this at some time. It doesn't matter if you're young or old; female or male; gay or straight; black, white, yellow or chartreuse, everyone goes through this at some time. And, like everyone else, you will get through it.
love.ivillage.com, www.californiapsychics.com, www.saviodsilva.net, ezinearticles.com; image: bp2.blogger.com
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