10 reasons to fear spiders
October 26th 2009 22:52
Arachnophobia is a scary word
2.
Spiders sit on walls in a way that isn't natural. They just hang there as if gravity is of no concern to them. What other strange powers do they have?
3.
Spiders are poisonous. Okay, not all spiders are poisonous, but when there is one hanging on your wall, staring at you as if it can't decide whether you are main course or dessert, it is prudent to assume it is poisonous.
4.
Spiders can't see well. But instead of getting glasses, they have learned to understand their environment through vibrations. They sense vibrations and they know absolutely everything that is going on. Except whether you are main course or dessert. That they need to think about for a while.
5.
Even worse, spiders digest their food outside their body. After they catch their evening meal — it could be someone you know — they drag up from their intestines possibly the most disgusting substance in the known universe, called a digestive enzyme, and rub it all over their meal. The spiders then play poker for a while while the meal digests, after which they return and suck up dinner, which is now in a spider-friendly liquid form.
6.
Like their digestive practices, spiders like to externalise their skeletal systems. They are what's known as arthropods. That means they have their skeleton on the outside and everything else on the inside. The word arthropod probably derives from the Latin term for terror.
7.
Spiders have minute claws at the base of each leg which help them walk across spider webs. It is almost certain that these tiny claws have other, more sinister, uses which scientists have yet to discover.
8.
Clever people tell us that tarantulas are not poisonous. Big deal. That is absolutely the only thing about tarantulas that isn't terrifying. It is possible they modelled Darth Vader on tarantulas. Without the hair.
9.
It is widely claimed by so-called experts that the daddy-long-legs has the most toxic venom of all spiders. Other so-called experts will say there is no scientific evidence for this claim. Yet other so-called experts claim the daddy-long-legs isn't in fact a spider at all. Who to believe? Our advice is to err on the safe side. Run.
10.
Spiders eat their old webs before spinning new ones. It just proves they will eat anything.
Sources: overcomefearofspiders.info, faunanet.gov.au, news.com.au; images: sydneywildlifeworld.com.au, cdn-write.demandstudios.com
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