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The big list of pick-up lines for groan-ups

April 15th 2009 12:40

Normally the heart beats 35 million times a year. Mine would reach that in one evening with you.

How was heaven when you left?

Can you please tell your body to stop staring at me.

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down. Go ahead say no.

"You look like my first wife." "Really? How many times have you been married?" "Oh I'm still a bachelor."

I'd like to say that I am not interested in sex without mutual consent. I'd also like to say that you have my consent.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?

I know milk does a body good, but damn, how much have you been drinking?

I like maths. Would you want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

I'm new in town. Could I have directions to your apartment.

If you were a pair of pants I'd wear you out.

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

Can I check your shirt label? I want to see if you were made in heaven.

If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning.

When they made the alphabet they should have put U and I together.

I would crawl naked in the cold rain over broken glass just to hear you speak over the telephone.

I think you're the light at the end of my tunnel.

Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing how much you have been noticing me noticing you.

Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?

If I follow you home, will you keep me?

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

When God made you, he was showing off.

Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No? Do you want to come upstairs and talk?

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

All the seats appear taken. Can I sit on your lap?

lovemix.com, explorelove.co.uk, y2u.co.uk, legend.yorks.com; image: singersroom.com

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Relationships

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Healing things to do when newly single

February 4th 2009 09:24

People who have recently been through a relationship break-up fall generally into two categories: those who did the breaking and those who got dumped. Horrible word, dumped, but it describes the kicked-in-the-guts feeling perfectly.

It can be a painful time, and energy levels may not immediately be high, but no amount of gloom can hide the fact that a land of new opportunities awaits.

It is the land of the single and - go on, admit it - everyone in a relationship gives the occasional whimsical sigh and remembers the things you can do when you are single. When you are newly single, some of these things have special significance.

1.
When love dies, life can start
Start by making this your mantra. Life can be smothered by an unhappy relationship. Happiness doesn't end with a broken relationship. Think sparkle, not survival. Here you are, newly single. It's time to put some sparkle back into life.

2.
What can you do differently?
You're the sole boss now. Soul boss too. You can do whatever you please, any way you please, any time you please. No checks, no discussion, no possibility of demurral, dissent or argument. There, I bet you feel better already.

3.
Stay single, for a while at least
We all understand that leaping into the arms of the first Romeo or Juliet that comes along is almost certainly short-term relief from a relationship break-up. Be single for a while. It has its advantages after all. In time, things will settle down and you will start enjoying life again. "I'm having so much fun," you will one day say, "that I'm not sure I need another relationship any time soon." That's when you're ready for another relationship. And now it's more likely to happen because you've got the magic of someone not looking. Ooh, that's so attractive to other singles.

4.
Learn to take care of yourself
To put it another way, take time to look after your best friend - you. It's amazing how quickly this can reinflate self-esteem and drive away the blues. It doesn't mean pilates three times a day or marathon training. It means, guys, perhaps learning how to sew on a button and thoroughly clean a bathroom. It means, girls, learning how to adjust your monitor's screen resolution and put air in your car tyres. Or vice-versa. Become self-reliant and see how proud you make yourself.

5.
Do some real travelling, and do it alone
Do not go to Bali or Hawaii and sit on a beach, or to Kakadu or Yosemite and sit on a rock. You'll just feel sorry for yourself. Real travel is eye-opening, foot-blistering, scary, sweaty, hard work. And it can change your life.

6.
Do a course or take up a hobby
Chances are, if the relationship didn't work out, that somewhere along the line you wanted to do something but felt constricted. Maybe you didn't want to waste time together; maybe you met opposition to doing something for yourself and by yourself. Do it now - the time will never be better.

7.
Volunteer
What, give time and energy to help others with nothing in return? There is a return, and it's something which needs to be experienced to be understood. Just try it. This one can change your life too.

8.
Make some time for family
Parents, grandparents, siblings. You know all those fond family memories built up over the years. Here's a good opportunity to make some more.

9.
Meanwhile ...
It's still hurting and the good times are all in the future. So consider this: everyone goes through this at some time. It doesn't matter if you're young or old; female or male; gay or straight; black, white, yellow or chartreuse, everyone goes through this at some time. And, like everyone else, you will get through it.

love.ivillage.com, www.californiapsychics.com, www.saviodsilva.net, ezinearticles.com; image: bp2.blogger.com

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Relationships

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